FIGJAM

Rants, reviews, photos and lots of my own snarky asshattery…

  • 12:18am - 5th May 2008
  • Category: Rants
  • By: PolarBear
  • Read Time: 2 to 3 minutes
    (Roughly 360 words)

How Do They BREATHE With Their Heads Up There?

Possibly the shortest conversation I will ever have with someone about the “fuel cost crisis” and global warming:

(Name Removed to protect the Stupid) (Simcoe Composite School) wrote at 11:23pm yesterday

Here’s an idea to think about. If some sort of law was made saying that buy (sic), 2010, everybody in the world either has to get an electric car or GO GREEN and change their Gas engine to run on canola oil. This way nobody needs to worry about gas prices, am I right?? Now obviously I can see that that is thinking BIG. But just think about all the other things that have happened by regular everyday people. Like people on facebook for example. And with electric cars or running on Canola Oil we won’t have to worry about people idling their cars all the time. So that would possibly slow done (sic) our arch nemesis known as GLOBAL WARMING!!!! Its (sic) our future and we should do something about it if we wanna live to watch our grandchildren grow up. We need more people in this group to (sic). Everybody send out invites. (: We need to stop this gas bullshit because if someone doesn’t we would eventually be looking gas prices as high as 2 dollars. Maybe higher and that would really suck!!!

The Angry PolarBear wrote in response at 1:08am

Brilliant (unnamed moron)! Cause, Canola Oil only costs about $2 a litre which would solve the problem of $1.20/litre gasoline and $1.30/litre diesel! Oh, and of course, Canola Oil does not in fact BURN, it only emits magical gases like butterfly farts in defiance of all physical laws of the planet. You wouldn’t expect something BURNED in a COMBUSTION engine to make CO2 or anything.

And we won’t even worry about how using all the farmland to grow Canola beans for oil to run engines will disrupt the food supply, because we can spin the butterfly farts into manna noodles and honey and solve the hunger crisis at the same time! YAY!

Way to think BIG! Only you forgot the THINK part!

Seriously?

This is what our schools produce nowadays?

REALLY? WTF!?!

Thanks, Al Gore!

1 Grain of Salt

“OMGZ, the CHILDREN!” they cry… we must buy a hybrid automobile to reduce our “carbon footprint”.

These same people continue to leave their thermostat at 24 in the winter and 20 in the summer, running their home HVAC systems ragged, producing “greenhouse gases” virtually every minute of every day. These same people will use said hybrid vehicle (very few of which actually make any significant reduction in auto emissions) to run to the store “for 2 minutes” to get a pack of smokes or to go out for lunch at work, rather than walking or brown-bagging it.

Then they’ll buy some “carbon offsets” from some dubious company with no enforced standards with regard to how they spend the money, and sleep the sleep of the just at night, as though they saved the world by throwing money at the problem and never once inconveniencing themselves. Isn’t THAT an inconvenient truth?
Read the rest of this entry »

Still No Cure For Stupidity or Greed

We live in an age where it is TRENDY to be environmentally aware. To be completely honest, a lot of it makes me sick, but the reasons for that would make up a whole ‘nother blog entry.

The main problem for me these days is how utterly gullible people are about what is “environmentally friendly”. They don’t really do any checking up on the claims of greedy companies – they simply buy into whatever the hype of the day is, and begin participating in whatever practice is the flavour du jour even if it is complete slacktivism.

One place I could rant about is Hybrid cars, but I am not going to bother when the show Bullshit! has done a far more complete job than I can do here. Suffice to say, hybrids are actually mind-bogglingly wasteful in most ways, gaining only slightly in the area of mileage while requiring many toxic substances in order to manufacture their batteries and systems. It is TRENDY to drive a hybrid, so it is the car of choice for slacktivists – but someone who truly cares about the environment is going to find the most efficient conventional car they can buy, plan their trips to avoid waste, drive sensibly without mashing the gas or the brake, and sometimes forgo the car when they can ride their bike or walk. A Mercedes smart achieves far better mileage than most hybrids and has a very efficient conventional engine. And don’t feed me a line about how it is too small – by the time you put the damn batteries in a hybrid, you’ve sucked up the better part of the space you gained by driving that bigger piece of shit. The RIDICULOUS Chevy Malibu Hybrid gives well under a 10% gain in mileage over its conventional counterpart, while requiring numerous additional hazardous elements in its manufacture – and still gets the same or worse mileage than similar non-hybrid models from Honda, Hyundai and Toyota, and scores a 6 out of 10 from the EPA for the amount of air pollution it creates! This is not a cleaner, more efficient vehicle, but it represents the “latest technology” GM offers. Oh – and don’t even get me STARTED on the scarcity of lithium for the best battery technology we’ve come up with to day…

So, to sum up so far: in my view, if you drive a hybrid, you’re nothing more (and nothing less) than a pretentious, pack-following idiotic douchebag. Yes, Ed Begley, I’m looking at you, too – the solar panels don’t save you from the ridicule.

But that wasn’t what I was REALLY annoyed at. Oh, no, not by a long shot. What was it, you ask, gentle reader (assuming you don’t drive a hybrid and are already so hacked off at me you want to burn down my house)?
Read the rest of this entry »

© 2010 FIGJAM. All Rights Reserved.

This blog is powered by Wordpress and Magatheme by Bryan Helmig.